Who Cares About Space?

Why the hell do we send people to space? Have you noticed that, in the last ten years, space shuttle take-offs and landings get about as much air time as the cow in Nebraska who took in the stray kitten? Space is boring to us. Well that was until that psycho astronaut chick strapped on the diaper and drove 100 miles to go kill the other astronaut. But the only reason that was cool was because it had nothing to do with going to space. Let's face it, there isn't a snowball's chance on Mars that we are going to be able to do anything meaningful in space. We can't live up there, unless you are talking about that bucket-o-bolts space station. You tell me how exciting is the life of the poor bugger who has been up there for the past year? Just sitting there staring up into...well....space I guess. BBBOOORRRIIINNNGGG! If you ask me, the only reason we have a space station is so that we can keep sending up space shuttles to fix all the shit that goes wrong with it. Eliminate the space station and you eliminate the need for a space program.

I have an idea: Let's build a clay raft. We'll row it out into the middle of the Atlantic. We'll draw straws to see who is going to stay out and live on it. Then the rest of us will get picked up by a helicopter and head home to our families. Raft boy, just give us a shout whenever the raft starts to ooze and we'll all come back out in the helicopter to help you fix it. Government, we expect you to subsidize the "Clay Raft Program."

Really what's the difference? Let's face it: space is old. When astronauts start attempting to kill one another while wearing diapers their attention clearly is no longer on space. And I can't blame them.