Cause of Death: Prolonged Orgy

Reasonable. The word is so benign in nature isn't it? Not fantastic. Not exciting. Not bombastic. Just reasonable. This isn't to say that it is connotatively negative. It just doesn't get anyone horny. What I like about the word reasonable, and why I have become obsessed with it recently, is its civility. Think of a reasonable person. They are so damn likable aren't they? Maybe not the guy you call for that twice-a-year piss-up, but definitely a person you feel "gets it." I doubt anyone calls me reasonable although I'm working on it.

So, why am I taking the time to discuss such a random word with so many sexier words out there to choose from? Well, I really think the world is losing all reasonableness. Sure, things are more exciting than ever. The age of internet, technology, cheap travel, and reality television has made the globe a smaller orb. The lives of the rich and famous are ostensibly more common and attainable. We are making more money (or are we?). Buying more stuff. And more stuff. And more stuff. And more....you get the point. What was once considered luxury is now considered entitlement. Credit is more available than ever, and consequently, debt is mounting like an impatient volcano. But hey, we are entitled to that debt: it's the only way to get a flat screen television. I work in an industry where I have the opportunity to meet people in their homes. You would be shocked at the number of low-income homes I enter that are filthy, lacking what I consider the essentials of life, however replete with all the necessary high-end electronics: plasma televisions, monster stereos, gaming consoles, and several satellite feeds. I'm not picking on the poor here but rather making a simple point: regardless of socioeconomic status, western civilization is starving for wealth that is just, well, unreasonable.

With all these expectations people get pissed off when Santa forgets to bring the toy on the top of their wish list. Anything less than "WOW" is unacceptable. We view "reasonable" as failure. As weakness. Remember when an orgy was a rare treat? Well times have changed my friends (I sound like McCain). Orgies are the norm. Why "get it on" with a TV you can afford when you can borrow and make out with a 700-inch plasma loaded with surround sound, a satellite feed, and a built-in prostitute (gender of your choice). I think they actually make these in China.

This unreasonableness isn't exclusive to our need for "stuff." People's expectations of one another have become downright mindless. Email, IM's, texting, and PDA's allow us to get someone's attention on our terms, not theirs. I despise the sound of my phone. I cringe at the "you've got mail" chime. I turn my Blackberry off most of the time. However I radiate expletives when I call someone's cell and no one answers. I know.....completely unreasonable. The concept of human error has become synonymous with bad character. When a waitress brings the wrong appetizer, she is likely a stupid whore. When a well-meaning health professional makes a mistake, she surely was trying to hurt you. Benefit of the doubt lives on an old rusty shelf with a hoola-hoop, Rubik's cube, and eight-track stereo.

I won't even begin to fulminate about the ridiculousness of our expectations of our children. Okay I will. Let me just say this: organizers required to keep track of our kid's leisure activities. Enough said.

So this Thanksgiving weekend I am "down home" in Nova Scotia. And while Bluenosers (and certainly myself) are not immune to the plague of unreasonableness, I do sense that they have found an elixir of some sort to keep it at bay (could it be the Keith's?). We could start a string of comments to come up with why this is (which would actually be a reasonable use of this blog) however it doesn't really matter. It's just the way it is out here. If you haven't been here you should put it on your unreasonably long list of destinations. Who knows, maybe being reasonable is contagious.